That first drink

I live in the midwest and yesterday was unseasonably warm for the beginning of November. The sun was shining and there was a warm breeze. Most of the leaves have fallen here, but there are still some pops of color here and there. I spent an afternoon hiking with my kids and soaking up every bit of vitamin D that I could get. After hiking I drove home through downtown and noticed a group of people outside of a cafe in town. They were sitting around a table full of drinks, there was laughter and smiling, as music spilled out from the open door of the cafe. All of a sudden I wanted to be sitting there with them. I wanted to be sipping a drink in the sunshine. I wanted to have an afternoon of drinks and funny conversation! I let my mind play back over great times with great friends I have had in the past. So many comical experiences and so many laughs! This ran through my mind for about two minutes. I played with the thought that maybe when my kids are grown and I am in retirement I could start to drink again, and enjoy that freedom once more! 

Suddenly, a phrase came into my head that I have heard thousands of times around the tables. "It's the first drink that gets us drunk." The reality of that statement struck me right in the center of my truth. For people who abuse alcohol, it's that very first drink that gets us in trouble. The ones that follow don't help either, but if I don't take that first drink, I won't get drunk! It's almost too simple. 

So, I had to reframe the picture I had in my mind of the jovial time I could have with friends sitting around the cafe table in the sunshine.  Because the initial vision was not reality. The reality is I would have a good time for a few minutes with my friends. But I wouldn't sip my drink, as they do. I would slam the drink and then at least two more in quick succession to make up for the years of lost time. My focus wouldn't be on the conversation, it would be on how could I order another drink without them thinking poorly of me. I would pretend to have to go in to use the bathroom so I could quickly down a drink inside before anyone missed me. Soon, I would be talking to loudly, getting to emotional, and possible offending people. As my friends would be getting up to go home to their families and responsibilities, I would be blowing mine off and heading to the next place to find companions who drank the same way as me. And God only knows where this would end, or if it ever would end again. Illness would follow, both mental and physical. 

And why would all of this happen? Because I am allergic to alcohol and cannot consume it in ANY level. Not one drink, and not 20 drinks. It's the FIRST drink that gets me in trouble. If I don't pick that drink up, I won't have 20. If I do pick it up, I am toast. 

Let's talk about NOW

Nowcovery is a term that I often use instead of "recovery" because it's NOW focused. The word "recovery" is great, and it's a relevant term in that everyone knows what it means to be recovering. We can be recovering from a lot of different things such as surgery, addiction, healing from a bad relationship etc. But what does recovery entail? If you really look at it closely, and break it down to the simplest of actions, it entails the choice you make in the moment, in the right NOW. If I am trying to overcome something, how do I do it? By making a choice NOW. This is how we build long term recovery. The choices we make today are the building blocks for tomorrow. 

Let's take this theory of NOW and put it into the context of recovering from an addiction through actively choosing positive behavior. How am I going to Nowcover? Consider how I begin my day when I wake up. The alarm goes off, and I already have a choice. Hit snooze and sleep a little longer? Or, don't hit snooze and wake up so I have time to do a morning reading and reflection? Honestly, the best option will change from day to day. In other words, the NOW will be different today than it is tomorrow. If I didn't sleep well, the best positive behavior may be to hit the snooze and catch a few more moments of rest. Or maybe I slept great and the urge to be lazy needs to be pushed aside so that reading and reflection can take place.

We can only make choices one moment at a time. That's the only place where we actually are, the only thing we have any control over is THIS moment of NOW. Where we run into trouble is in having the continuity and endurance to make the best choice in each moment of now. We make a few good choices in the now, and somehow for whatever reason, we stop, and we revert back to the old choices for too long and we get way off track. This is why we need support! We need someone to say "Hey! Have you noticed your making old choices again?!".  DENIAL is sneaky in that we don't always know we are in it. We need people to help us with our blind spot.  Counselors can do this for us, good friends can do this for us, and so can a recovery coach. Preferably all three should be utilized for a healthy Nowcovery program. Please don't continue to live in your blind spot, contact Tracy today for coaching.